A Year at Meadowbrook Manor Read online

  ‘So,’ Gwen said, reeling her thoughts back to Gerry as they reached the church. ‘It’s really all right?’

  ‘Of course, although it seems that all my family is paired off apart from me and Fleur and she probably has a secret boyfriend.’

  ‘I’d hardly say we’re paired off, Gerry and me. He’s a nice man though and I am aware that now your dad isn’t around, I need to fill my time. I mean, if you lot go from Meadowbrook, which you are perfectly in your right to do, then I have to find other interests.’

  ‘Well, if Gerry is an interest …’ Harriet teased.

  ‘Oh, Harry, you are awful. Anyway, there is someone out there for you, you know.’ And just as Gwen said that a feather appeared from nowhere and it settled on Connor’s head as he stood at the church door waiting for them.

  Bloody hell, Harriet thought, shaking her head. ‘Come on, let’s go in.’

  They all sat in the same pew as each other, Gus was next to Amanda but Harriet was on the other side of him and he gave her hand a squeeze. She could feel her father’s presence, tears welled up and she knew that this Christmas Eve, she was missing him more than ever. And as she let the tears fall, Gwen handed her a tissue and put her arm around her, she felt she would give anything, anything, to have him there with her just one last time.

  Her father, so strong, so certain. She wanted him to tell her what he meant when he said she needed to take a step back from work and sort out a personal life. She wanted him to explain that when she had done as he asked, it was as if her personal life had disintegrated totally. OK, so it wasn’t great in New York, no she didn’t have love, but she didn’t mind that, but now, in Meadowbrook, she wanted love but couldn’t have it. She accepted that now she didn’t have her job, she was changing, or changing back to the old Harriet a bit, but it was coming with insecurities, uncertainty, worry that she couldn’t do for the animal sanctuary what she needed to do, longing over Connor and then her family … She thought of the email sitting waiting on her computer for when she got back. How was her father so sure he was doing the right thing, when it felt, at this moment if it was anything but.

  Harriet lay in bed. She was tired, yet she knew sleep wasn’t going to come easily, she was too unsettled, the tears had lasted for most of the service, leaving her with a throbbing head. It didn’t help that she couldn’t stop staring at her laptop screen. She read the message from Nick for the hundredth time, the message telling her all she needed to know about Mark, and as a sick feeling settled into the pit of her stomach she really had no idea what the hell she was going to do. Although, of course, tomorrow was Christmas Day, so she wouldn’t be doing anything just yet.

  ‘The animals don’t know it’s Christmas, so all hands to the pump,’ Connor ordered as the Singers lined up in front of him. Mark had even been persuaded into a pair of wellies to help walk the dogs, although he looked thunderous. Harriet, thinking of the email, of the information she had about him, wanted to shove him into the mud, but she couldn’t. Not without anyone noticing anyway.

  They had all got up at the crack of dawn, not, as when they were children, because it was Christmas, but because of the animal sanctuary. The full-time staff had all been given the day off, so it was down to them to run it for the day. And as they were having their proper Christmas tomorrow, no one objected. Apart from Loretta, who refused to wear wellingtons and said she would come down later. They all knew she wouldn’t.

  But despite a near sleepless night, Harriet had managed to find some Christmas spirit. She had taken the leftover Santa hats from the winter wonderland and insisted they each wear them – yes, Mark included. They had got treats for all the animals, apart from the ones who only liked grass, and she had already taken Hilda a new collar. It had cost her more than most of the presents she bought for her family, but as Hilda wagged her tail, looking resplendent in the diamanté pink, she knew it had been worth it.

  ‘Hello, ladies, and a very Happy Christmas to you,’ Freddie trilled at the chickens. Harriet was helping him feed them. They all looked at Freddie, slightly suspiciously, Harriet thought as their heads wobbled a bit. ‘See, they love me,’ Freddie said.

  ‘Just as every lady does,’ Harriet giggled. ‘So, are you excited about spending Christmas with Loretta?’

  ‘I was, but she’s been a bit weird. When I told her I could literally only spend pocket money on her present this year, she said she had been expecting something special. Then she asked if I had any of mum’s old jewellery, like her engagement ring. When I told her that that had gone to Pippa, she went ballistic, I don’t understand it.’ Freddie scratched his head as the chickens scratched at the ground.

  ‘Oh, Fred, I think it’s clear she wants you to propose.’

  ‘Propose what?’

  Harriet shook her head and sighed. What was wrong with him. ‘Marriage, you idiot. She wants you to ask her to marry you. Hence the chat about the ring.’

  ‘Oh bugger, I forgot that she mentioned that before.’

  ‘Well she hasn’t told me herself, but it would make sense.’ She better not admit to reading her text messages. ‘Bur, Freddie, you’ve been living with her, so it’s natural she wants to marry you.’

  ‘Good Lord. I love Loretta, but when the business went tits up, I literally had no idea about my future, then Dad handed me this gift and, well, I’m still muddling through this year. What am I going to do?’ His voice was panic-stricken.

  ‘You don’t have to do anything, Fred.’ Harriet was slightly relieved that Freddie wasn’t leaping to propose, it gave her more time to sort the mess out. ‘No one can force you to propose or marry someone and it’s a huge decision. Just tell her you need to get this year out of the way and then you can look to the future.’

  ‘For someone so bossy you do talk sense sometimes.’ He gave her an affectionate hug. ‘Come on, Elizabeth Bennet is looking decidedly put out that I haven’t paid her any attention today.’

  ‘How can you tell that a chicken looks put out?’ Harriet was slightly bemused.

  ‘That could only be said by someone who knows nothing about hens.’

  Harriet found Connor with the ponies and Gerald. The goats were munching grass on the other side of the paddock. She handed out carrots and stroked Brian who was the most affectionate of the ponies.

  ‘Gus is singing carols to the pigs,’ Connor said.

  ‘Oh goodness.’ Harriet looked over to where Gus was raking up, and he was clearly singing, she caught a faint ‘Jingle bells’ coming from across the field. ‘He’s so happy, isn’t he?’

  ‘He’s in love, Harry,’ Connor said. The way he looked at her, again as if he was seeing into her head, made her want to run away and run into his arms in equal measure.

  ‘I know and I’m so glad he’s got Amanda, she’s lovely. Which can’t be said for my other siblings partners. I didn’t want to tell you at Christmas, but I found out about Mark.’

  ‘Is it bad?’ His brow furrowed.

  ‘It’s really not good,’ Harriet replied honestly.

  ‘I tell you what, how about we sneak off into the summer house later and you can fill me in. We won’t ruin Christmas for anyone, but it would probably do you good to be able to share.’

  ‘What about Bella?’ Harriet hoped she didn’t sound as snarky as she felt.

  ‘She’s staying at her parents’. But talking of her, I must go and call her now. Can you take over here?’ He handed her a bucket and walked off. She watched him go, feeling as if her heart was going to stop beating. He looked so good as he strode across the field. How could love make you feel so good, like Gus, or so terrible, as in her case? It really wasn’t fair. As if sensing she was about to cry, yet again, Brian came and nuzzled her. If only people were like animals, Harriet thought not for the first time, the world would be a better place.

  By the time they all met back at the office, all work was done. The animals were happy: the dogs walked, the cats fed, the chickens charmed by Freddie and the pigs sung to. Pippa c
ame in, face flushed, followed by an angry-looking Mark.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Gus asked.

  ‘Those bloody dogs,’ Mark started. Harriet saw his back was covered in mud.

  ‘Oh poor Mark isn’t used to walking so many, the leads got tangled and, well, it was an awful mess, and he was pulled over.’ Pippa’s face was full of concern but her voice full of mirth.

  ‘Not only that, but they dragged me. Dragged me through the mud before Pippa could stop them.’

  ‘Oh dear,’ Freddie said. ‘You do look like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards,’ he added.

  ‘Not funny,’ Mark said. ‘I could have been seriously hurt.’

  ‘But you’re fine, come on, let’s all go up to the house, it is Christmas Day after all,’ Connor said reasonably.

  ‘And I’ll run you a hot bath,’ Pippa said. ‘You’ll be cleaned up in no time, darling.’

  ‘Couldn’t have happened to a better person,’ Harriet muttered.

  ‘What was that, Harry?’ Gus asked.

  She blushed. ‘Nothing, Gus, nothing.’

  Harriet ran her fingers through her hair, dabbed a little of her cut-price lip gloss on and spritzed some of her favourite perfume, which was rapidly emptying. She had some time to collect herself before she was meeting Connor for a debrief in the summer house.

  After Mark had calmed down Christmas Day had passed harmoniously. They had yet to exchange gifts, promising Fleur they would wait until she was with them, but they had a lovely lunch, Gerry had proved entertaining and clearly besotted with Gwen, and when Freddie organised a game of charades they had all joined in, even Mark gave it a good go. Loretta seemed to have cheered up as well and it had been a pretty good day all in. Gus had gone off to see Amanda for the evening and the others were all exhausted, so it had been easy for her to make her excuses.

  The summer house, although filled with traces of Gus and his paintings, still reminded her of her mum. She wished she remembered more about her, she wondered if she was with their dad now. She hoped so. He had loved her so completely that she hoped they could be together. She felt the fat tears falling before she even realised, and when Connor opened the door, he caught her furiously wiping them away.

  ‘Were you thinking of Andrew?’ he asked, shuffling awkwardly.

  ‘Yes, and Mum actually. I know how much they loved each other, I was thinking I hope they’re together.’

  ‘Oh, H, under that tough exterior you really are a romantic,’ Connor teased. He always used to tease her when she was upset in order to diffuse the situation.

  ‘Don’t tell anyone,’ she teased back.

  ‘Your secret is safe with me. Right,’ he said, sitting down, ‘tell me about Mark.’

  ‘It’s really simple. He’s broke.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Yes, Connor, the successful businessman is on the verge of losing everything. The house is mortgaged to the hilt, his business has hit the buffers, a combination of bad decisions on behalf of clients and the financial climate. The problem seems to be, the more trouble he encountered, the more he panicked and the result is that he’s lost a lot of money and clients. He’s hanging on by a thread. So my thinking is that Pippa’s inheritance, including her share of Meadowbrook, is all that stands between him and financial ruin.’

  ‘Hence his desperation, with the stupid plan.’

  ‘Yup, and for some reason he thinks I have too much influence over the family.’

  ‘It’s not influence exactly, H, is it, but you’ve always been their big sister, they do look to you.’

  ‘And I am incredibly bossy, you can say it, Con, I do know.’

  ‘Well, it came with the territory. When your mum died, you tried to mother your siblings, and well, perhaps you became more of a parent than a sister.’

  Harriet nodded, he was right. But now they were all grown up and they needed a sister, but did she know how to do that? Was that another reason for her going to New York all those years ago? Because she didn’t feel needed at home anymore when they all flew the nest? Oh God, it was so complicated.

  ‘But what am I going to do with this information?’ Harriet asked.

  ‘Well, I don’t know. I mean, you could tell Pippa, but would she believe you?’

  ‘I have it in black and white. I mean, I know it’s not strictly orthodox, but in this case I think it’s for the right reasons.’

  ‘Yes, although I can’t quite believe how dodgy it all sounds.’ Connor raised his eyebrow, he was so bloody sensible, Harriet thought.

  ‘When you’re employing someone on a million-dollar salary, you kind of need to know everything about them,’ Harriet shot back.

  ‘Yes, well, I pay minimal wage, so not sure I’ll need his services,’ Connor replied, sounding tetchy. Why did they always bicker?

  ‘Can we not argue about the morals of this? After all, Mark is possibly going to take Pippa’s money and lose that too.’

  ‘Yes, sorry, that is a good point. Harriet, I understand we need to stop him, but let’s tread carefully. I mean, he could talk his way out of this, or he could blame outside forces and say he was trying to protect her, and if Pippa believes him, then you are going to look like the bad guy for poking around.’

  ‘OK, I’ll think about it, but you know, having you as an ally, well, I need you right now.’ She tried not to meet his eyes, because she felt that hers would betray just how much she needed him.

  ‘Hey, I’m always here for you, H, my best mate.’ He gave her a jokey punch on the arm. Not quite what she was hoping for.

  ‘But Connor—’ she started, unsure where she was going to go with this, but she was in agony with her feelings for him.

  ‘What?’ he asked. She did meet his eyes and she searched them for answers.

  A phone rang, interrupting them.

  Connor pulled it out of his jeans pocket. ‘Sorry, it’s Bella. Are we OK here?’

  ‘Sure.’ Harriet had to drag the words out of her. ‘You go, I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  She hoped her voice didn’t betray how she felt, but Connor didn’t seem to notice. She saw him smile as he answered the phone and he looked happy.

  And then there was one, she thought as she curled up on the summer house sofa.

  Chapter 25

  Harriet looked around the empty cottage, shivered and wondered what the hell she had been thinking. OK, so she needed space from everyone; Connor, her siblings, Mark and Loretta, and some space from her thoughts. She knew she couldn’t just switch them off, but she also knew that being with the person who was breaking her heart wasn’t helping her to deal with anything. She couldn’t think about the sanctuary and what needed to be done there without thinking about her feelings for Connor; she couldn’t think about her siblings without thinking about Mark and the state he was in. They had such a short time left at Meadowbrook, and she needed to focus on that, but at the moment she couldn’t focus on anything much.

  She realised she was in trouble when, in trying to figure out ways to deal with the Mark and Loretta situation – most especially Mark – her thoughts kept going back to Connor, and his deep eyes, his warm arms, his kindness, and his gorgeousness. Which wasn’t helpful at all. She needed to deal with her feelings for him, and she couldn’t do that at Meadowbrook.

  Harriet told her family she was going to spend a few days in London over New Year with friends. A lie that she clearly hadn’t thought through, because she had lost touch with all her friends from her London days. She had happily left them behind when she skipped off to New York and although they had stayed in contact at first, it hadn’t lasted. In fact she wasn’t in contact with any friends from the UK. Another tragic realisation about her life. And, of course, the old Harriet would have just booked into a hotel, but she had a total of five pounds to her name, not even enough for a youth hostel.

  Gus looked so happy for her that she felt ashamed about her lie. Instead, she had pretended to go – even so far as getting Gus to drive her to
the train station – before she somehow managed to figure out how to get a bus home, heavily disguised in a big hat that belonged to her father, and now she was in Meadowbrook’s empty cottage – the one that used to belong to Jed the gardener, practically next door to Connor’s.

  Stupidly it had seemed a good idea at the time. Well, in fairness it was her only idea. But it was anything but a good idea. It was cold, and she couldn’t put any lights on in case she was seen, so she was practically hiding in one of the rooms furthest way, with a lit candle and picnic food which didn’t requite heating, plates or cutlery. And now she was stuck here for two whole days and nights. Well, at least she would probably be able to think, as she had nothing else to do – unless she froze to death before the days were up of course.

  Boxing Day had been lovely; their Meadowbrook Christmas. They had all exchanged gifts, which were cheap, fun and, in Gus’s case, free, as he painted for them all. When he gave Harriet a picture he’d done of Hilda, she had choked back tears.

  Mark had been on his best behaviour, as had Loretta, and she hadn’t caught them together, or even exchanging a glance and she had watched them like a hawk. The day was all about Fleur really though, and she brought excitement to the house as they opened presents, ate delicious food and went for a long walk, and then back for a quiet evening in. There had been a slight issue when Fleur, who had been given a glass of champagne by Freddie, let the kittens, who were getting quite big now, out of the kitchen and they tried to climb the Christmas tree, but only a minor disaster. Connor had managed to coax them down with only a few baubles as casualties.