A Year at Meadowbrook Manor Page 6

  ‘Well we still think that, but this doesn’t seem to be so much of a hardship,’ Freddie said. ‘In fact, perhaps Dad was right, it’s a gift. I mean, we all get to spend time together, re-evaluate everything, and as has already been said, we should do all we can to keep Meadowbrook in the family. So, Harry, that just leaves you …’

  Harriet sighed, this wasn’t exactly how she thought it would go. ‘Look, guys, I get that it’s all or nothing and I don’t want to take it away from you, but I have quite a job, as you know. I’m not sure I can just take a year off, I’m not sure they’ll let me. It’s complicated.’ She hoped she didn’t sound too self-important.

  ‘But you will see if you can, will you try?’ Gus asked. ‘Look, I’ve never been after Dad’s money.’ Gus looked down at his nearly empty plate. ‘But you know, he wanted us to have it. And, of course, there are our families to think about. Not just Fleur, but your future kids, if you have any. I’m happy to give as much as needed to the animal sanctuary, I don’t need a lot to live on, but I don’t want to lose all the family memories and that means keeping Meadowbrook. And it also, to me, means honouring Dad’s memory and doing what he wanted us to do.’

  ‘It’s all we have left of Mum and Dad,’ Pippa said, another tear rolling down her cheek. ‘I don’t want to lose it but, more importantly, like Gus, I want to do what Daddy wanted us to do. Because he might not be here, but he’s still our father.’ Pippa’s voice was full of emotion and something Harriet had to respect; passion. As her three siblings all nodded in agreement, she felt guilty, wretched. She didn’t have such a straightforward decision. If she said yes, she would kiss goodbye to her job, oh and her relationship, or whatever it actually was. If she said no, then she would lose her siblings and Meadowbrook. It was a lose-lose.

  ‘I need to check in with work.’ Harriet stood up, she needed to get out of here, have some time to think. She had mixed feelings; panic, anxiety. She loved her siblings, she loved her job; she was sleeping with her married boss. They had had an on/off affair for about five years now; something she hadn’t planned but more fallen into. She wasn’t proud of that, but Zach, successful, powerful, was a difficult man to resist. And as much as she enjoyed being with him, she loved her job even more.

  ‘Gwen’s left an apple crumble in the Aga,’ she said, collecting herself, refilling her wine glass, as, heart thumping, she left the room.

  She made her way upstairs to the first floor. There were five bedrooms here and five on the second floor. The first floor housed the family’s bedrooms, the top floor the guest rooms, but, as far as she knew, her father didn’t have many guests. As children they used to play upstairs, but then they pretty much ran around everywhere in the enormous house. They were fairly wild at times, various nannies tried to tame them, Gwen too, but they didn’t quite manage it.

  Harriet opened her computer. She knew the drill; it would be easier to email Zach, who never took his eyes off his mailbox, and get him to call her urgently. She needed reassurance from him that this was a terrible idea and that there was no way she would be able to stay at Meadowbrook for even a month let alone a year.

  Zachary Matthews, the man she had walked into the interview room ten years ago with a desperate need to impress. He was tall, with curly brown hair, dark eyes, and a presence so commanding she was drawn to him like a magnet. She was so focused on the job, nothing would stand in her way of the much-wanted move to New York. Her and Zach worked closely together and at some point they ended up in bed together. It hadn’t happened overnight, it had taken almost five years before anything happened. A work trip to Washington, too much wine with dinner, and then up to his hotel room. He didn’t sugarcoat anything, romance it certainly wasn’t, but that was what Harriet wanted, needed, understood. No strings, nothing to detract from her job, no emotions. Harriet didn’t even know if she had emotions anymore. They were the same person; driven by making money, excited by the deal, obsessed by work, by succeeding.

  She didn’t focus too much on the fact that she was sleeping with a married man. And every time her moral compass seemed to right itself and she decided to end things, Zach would smile at her and they’d end up in bed. Was she the only one? She doubted it. But there was something powerful about him. And something safe. Harriet certainly didn’t worry about him falling in love with her and she didn’t need to worry about falling in love with him. She had let that happen once and it didn’t end well.

  But now her father had died. Which made her question what the hell she was doing.

  She took a deep breath as she opened up her email and, scanning through the spam, she noticed an email from work. It was from the director of HR, with Zach copied in. As her thumping heart slowed to a dull thud, she felt bile rising in her stomach as she read it.

  A knock on her bedroom door roused her back to the present.

  ‘Can I come in?’ Pippa asked, tentatively, as her head poked around the door.

  ‘Sure,’ Harriet replied, quietly.

  Pippa made her way over to the king-size bed and sat down. Harriet was still at the dressing table, staring at the screen in front of her. Shock, fear, hatred all fighting to dominate her emotions.

  ‘So, did you call the office?’ Pippa asked. Harriet turned her head to look at Pippa. ‘Harry? Are you all right?’

  ‘I just checked my emails.’ She could barely believe what she’d just read. ‘And look.’ She picked up her laptop and took it over to the bed, sitting next to her, so Pippa could read the email. Harriet needed her to do so, because she still hoped she imagined it. It was as if she was in a nightmare.

  ‘It says that they’re making you redundant?’ Pippa said, eyes wide in shock.

  ‘Yes. Paying me off. Restructuring my department.’ Harriet shook her head. Zach hadn’t even sent a personal message. Her boss, the man she had been sleeping with on a semi-regular basis, had used her father’s death as an excuse to get rid of her.

  ‘But I don’t understand, they can’t do this, I mean you’ve come home for your father’s funeral.’

  ‘I think they must have been planning it, even they couldn’t come up with this in twenty-four hours.’ She paused to think. ‘Actually they could.’ Redundancy packages had been put together in a matter of hours. She should know, she had been behind some of them. Her stomach plummeted even more.

  ‘That’s terrible and surely not even legal.’ Pippa was outraged. ‘Surely you could threaten to sue them.’

  ‘I could, but I won’t.’ Harriet felt her body deflate.

  ‘Why not, Harry? That’s not like you. Why won’t you at least threaten them?’

  ‘Because, Pip,’ Harriet’s eyes swam with tears, ‘I’m not proud, but I’ve been sleeping with my my married boss.’

  Pippa’s mouth gaped open. She shook her head and shut it. ‘But, I don’t understand, if you’ve been sleeping with him, why is he getting rid of you now?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ She really didn’t. But she did know that she would never walk onto that trading floor again. Feel that exhilaration of anticipation of the day ahead. Hear the buzz of the phones ringing, computers beeping – her favourite music. How on earth was she supposed to live without that?

  ‘What a bastard. To do it just after you buried your dad. And not even tell you himself. I mean, I can’t condone you sleeping with a married man, Harry, that was wrong. Oh goodness, what a mess.’ Pippa sounded distraught. Harriet looked at her. She was no longer the kid that Harriet felt so maternal towards.

  ‘Exactly, without my job I’m nothing.’ She felt tears threatening her, and she was almost ready to welcome them.

  ‘Oh, Harry, I am so sorry.’ Pippa hugged her.

  ‘It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have done it,’ Harriet stated, feeling self-loathing.

  Pippa didn’t argue with her.

  Harriet suddenly saw her life clearly. She worked long hours, mostly six days a week, she went to the gym to stay in shape, one of her closest friends was her personal trainer for goo
dness sake. She had a best friend, Mimi, who knew most things about her and a handful of social friends, all high-flying single career women who she drank cocktails, ate at the latest restaurants and bitched about work and men with – in that order. She had a beautiful but barely furnished apartment – who had time to decorate a place that she barely spent any time in? A wardrobe of fabulous clothes, ditto shoes, and a city life that she was in no way ready to leave behind. She was struck by the realisation that her life was lacking in real relationships, and maybe a bit lonely at times – was this what her father meant?

  ‘Ah. Well, listen, Harriet, I know now’s not the time to think about the future, because it’s so raw and such a shock, but we’ll sort it out. If you don’t want to fight them, then take the money, and at least you’ve got us and Meadowbrook,’ Pippa said.

  ‘Oh, Pip, I don’t know, I don’t even know how I feel. I mean, I had barely processed the fact that Dad’s gone and now I’ve lost my job, all in one fell swoop.’ She stopped for a minute and thought back to her father’s video. Was he right about her after all? She had worked tirelessly to succeed, to be the daughter that he wanted her to be, had she lost herself along the way? Surely not. She shook her head. He was just rambling because he wanted his children all together – still trying to control them from beyond the grave.

  ‘I guess that means that you can stay here for the year though,’ Pippa said, uncertainly. ‘Maybe it’s fresh starts all round, and maybe Dad knew more than we ever gave him credit for.’ Pippa sounded anxious but Harriet wondered if she could read her mind. ‘We’ll be together at least.’ Pippa squeezed her sister. ‘And get to run an animal sanctuary,’ she laughed. Harriet did not.

  ‘I’m used to running a trading floor, with millions of dollars at stake every day, so how hard can running an animal sanctuary be?’ Harriet asked, and then she finally burst into tears.

  Chapter 7

  Harriet knocked on Connor’s door. She felt nervous. Probably due to the fact they hadn’t spent any time alone in forever. She pulled her cardigan tightly around her. It was chilly, not quite seven in the morning, the dew was glued to the grass. Harriet wore skinny jeans, a T-shirt and a cashmere cardigan; dressed down but immaculate. On her feet were her trainers. As she waited for the door to open, she thought fleetingly about New York. She’d be in the office by now, phones ringing, people shouting, and now when all she could hear was the odd squark of a bird, she felt as if she had been dislodged from her life.

  After the shock last night, which she still keenly felt, her mind had been whirring with thoughts of living at Meadowbrook for the year; wondering if she could do it. Live with her family, run an animal sanctuary, give up the bright lights of the city, live a ‘simple’ life. And the answer was she didn’t know. Already, she missed those bright lights terribly. She didn’t care about her father’s money, but she did care about what happened to Meadowbrook and, of course, she cared about her brothers and sister. It was all so confusing, she couldn’t think in a straight line. She wished her father was here; he would know what to do. Of course, he would tell her to get on with the year at Meadowbrook, and run the animal sanctuary, bond with her siblings. Oh, and stay away from unsuitable married men. As she heard his voice in her head, she choked back tears.

  Unable to sleep, she had read the terms of the pre-will – as it was now known. It was actually quite straightforward but bloody annoying – her father really had decided to strip each of his children back to basics.

  Living together for a year, each of them was allowed a maximum of a week away from the place. They would be given a very slim allowance; their father thought they were all spoilt and too materialistic. The amount wouldn’t have kept New York Harriet in cabs, let alone anything else. Although all food and bills at the house were taken care of, they weren’t going to be buying any luxuries for a year. And as soon as they agreed to do it, they all had to hand over their bank cards and any credit cards and cash they had on them to David. Cheating was out of the question.

  Harriet felt it was like a bad reality TV show, but one which was her life.

  The animal sanctuary was another thing. They had to raise £25,000 in the year, which seemed like a ridiculously high amount for four people who had never raised a penny for charity. Oh, Harriet had given money, she sponsored, she put money in charity collections, she’d been to a number of high-profile auctions and spent thousands in an hour, but she hadn’t actually shaken a collecting tin herself. And although used to dealing in millions, getting ordinary people to part with money wasn’t something she had any experience in. If only she could use her own money she would pay it right now, but of course that was against the rules.

  They also had to get their hands dirty with the sanctuary, they were each expected to take on a physical role to help out such as mucking out or walking the dogs.Harriet just couldn’t see it. Not any of it. All she could feel was loss on top of loss. Her father was gone, her job was gone, and she was rapidly losing her sense of self. She might be home but she felt like a stranger in a foreign land.

  She knocked on Connor’s door again. She could see he was in, lights were blazing from inside. The three cottages that sat in a row belonged to Meadowbrook. Gwen and Connor had lived in the largest, but, when he returned home, he had moved into the second and newly renovated cottage which was next door to his mother. And the third was the old gardener, Jed’s cottage, which stood empty ever since he had died a few years ago.

  Connor was wearing thick socks, jeans and an oversized jumper when he finally answered his front door. He looked surprised to see her but he smiled, warmly, eyes crinkling.

  ‘Hey, Harry, come in.’ He stepped aside.

  ‘Sorry to call round so early.’

  ‘It’s fine, I’m always up at this time.’ Connor gave one of his cheeky grins, and led her into his living room. It was small and messy, with a large sofa dominating, and a wood burner which was unlit. Papers were scattered around, with the odd mug and plate thrown in for the extra lived-in look.

  ‘Goodness what would your mother say?’ Harriet couldn’t help herself.

  ‘Don’t worry, I tidy up before she ever sees it,’ Connor laughed.

  ‘Do you happen to have coffee?’ she asked, laughing with him.

  ‘Come through.’

  The small kitchen was clean and tidy as Connor set about putting the kettle on, taking out a French press and spooning coffee in. She sat down at the breakfast bar.

  ‘I don’t remember coming into this cottage before,’ she said as she took it all in. The wooden kitchen was modern but rustic, the back door led onto a small patch of lawn, it was sweet, but after Meadowbrook felt tiny. And six foot two Connor filled the cottage like a giant.

  ‘Silvia lived here, remember she used to help Mum with the cleaning sometimes and she also worked in the local pub.’

  ‘Oh, yes of course, I’d forgotten.’

  ‘Harry, I’m not being rude, but you seemed to have left Meadowbrook and everyone behind with barely a backward glance. Myself included.’

  Harriet startled. She wasn’t ready to hear that. She wasn’t sure why she had found it so easy to turn her back on Meadowbrook when she moved to New York. She thought she was running towards her glittering future, after all, most ambitious people did that. In her world it was totally normal. But first her father, then her siblings and now Connor. Was everyone intent on making her feel that she had abandoned them?

  She shrugged. ‘I followed my career and I didn’t look back. Yes, I kept in touch with the family, but I didn’t have much time to think about home, and now I’m here I feel … well, I feel a little strange,’ she explained.

  ‘But you’re back now,’ Connor said quietly. The way he peered at her again made her feel he could see inside her, see all her thoughts. When they were young she thought that he knew her better than anyone did.

  ‘What happened to you?’ She was desperate to change the subject, he was making her feel too uncomfortable; exposed
. ‘You were in New Zealand when I came back for Pip’s wedding, I recall, with your fiancée?’ Her father kept her abreast of Connor’s movements, in their exchanges. Yet still, Harriet didn’t quite understand how their friendship had fractured quite so much. Connor was one of the most important people in her life, and she had let him become a stranger. But why?

  ‘Ah yes, the lovely Elizabeth. Well, we did go to New Zealand, she wanted to emigrate and we were going to get married, but then we started arguing all the time. I missed home, she didn’t. Do you remember her?’ Connor asked.

  ‘Of course, I met her on a number of occasions,’ Harriet replied carefully, trying not to look as embarrassed as she felt.

  The first time she met Connor’s girlfriend, they were both home from university and she had been so excited to see Connor. He wanted her to meet someone and that someone was Elizabeth.

  That holiday changed so much for Harriet. Probably the fact that Connor wasn’t there for her anymore, or perhaps the idea that he now belonged to someone else. Elizabeth. Annoying Elizabeth who clung to Connor’s side like a limpet. Elizabeth who was going to be a vet just like him; she and Harriet hated each other on sight. They both wanted to be the most important girl in Connor’s life, but there was only one spot. And as Elizabeth was having sex with Connor, Harriet was never going to win. Elizabeth, smug, annoying and with the only man Harriet had every truly felt herself with.

  No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t spend any time with Connor without his annoying girlfriend being there. And after that Harriet felt she had lost him, as things changed irrevocably.

  Gus had accused her, when she ranted about ‘Limpet Liz’ with her frizzy hair and annoying laugh, of being jealous, but she refused to accept it. Harriet smiled to herself, now she was an adult, she knew she had been ridiculously jealous.

  ‘Anyway, I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but I guess it’s good for Meadowbrook,’ Harriet said, collecting herself. It was a childhood crush that didn’t go away. That was all it was.